One of the most routine things we hear from many prospective clients is, "I feel like I'm doing something wrong by hiring a private investigator", or "I can't believe I'm doing this". We at Butler & Associates want you to realize that NOBODY plans or prepares for infidelity. Bad things happen to good people... the evening news is full of these facts. It is also important to realize that we, as investigators, are here to help you uncover the truth, not to fix everything. But by finding out the truth, the REAL truth, you will either empower yourself to finally end your relationship, attempt to repair your relationship, or at the very least make an informed decision regarding your immediate future. And 99% of our clientele are correct in their intuition that their mate is involved in an infidelity.
That being said, many lives are touched by infidelity. You may be visiting this page because you have found, or strongly suspect, that your mate is involved in an infidelity. If so, you are not alone. Deception and betrayal, in some shape or form, have affected everyone at least once. Regarding affairs, current statistics reveal that anywhere from 25% to 75% of all men and 15% to 60% of all women have had at least one (The Washington Post, 3/30/1999, pg. Z10).
The word infidelity means "the breaking of trust". Infidelity occurs when one partner in a relationship continues to believe that their agreement to be faithful and true is still in force, while the other partner is secretly violating it. You do not have to be married to experience infidelity, as most any relationship involving trust qualifies.
To most effectively investigate infidelity, one must be able to separate logic from emotion, which is far easier said than done.
The emotional side of us, upon discovering some evidence of infidelity, will naturally want to confront our mate. Confrontation is a very powerful and irresistable urge, and while it is strategically wrong to do so, many of us do it. It is at this time of confrontation that lies are first heard or encountered; stories and excuses are told to the suspicious partner, explaining away the discovered evidence, often with ridiculous reasoning. Yet due to emotion, you may find yourself giving your mate the benefit of the doubt and accept the story, no matter how stupid it sounds. You also may have been on the receiving end of angry statements such as, "You're crazy if you think I'm having an affair", or "I would never do that!", "What's wrong with you?", or (our personal favorite) "You need psychiatric help." Angry outbursts by the accused mate are very common and actually should be expected, as an angry reaction is meant to prevent future questions or confrontations. Being told that you are crazy for questioning infidelity may seem only argumentative at first, but after being repeatedly berated by their mates, many of our own clients have reported actually feeling like they are going crazy!
The logical side of us, upon discovering some evidence of infidelity, would suggest a calculated, investigative approach. First, it is very important to SAY NOTHING and avoid confrontation. In the event you already confronted your mate, refrain from further questioning. Telling your mate that you are suspicious merely serves as a warning for him (or her) to be more careful in the future. Second, how can you prove that the evidence you discovered is really proof of infidelity? A great example of this is discovering a charge for a hotel room on your mate's credit card. It doesn't prove anything other than there is a charge for a hotel room... not who was in the hotel room, or what was happening in the hotel room. It is almost a guarantee that you will not get the truth if you confront at this stage. Even if the evidence IS tied to actual infidelity, is it not enough to cause him (or her) to confess. Confronting your mate over a suspicious piece of evidence, without IRREFUTABLE PROOF, is not logical and allows the mate plenty of room to manuever and manipulate. A logical course of action would involve further investigation to obtain irrefutable proof (videotape and/or audiotape) to either prove or disprove the infidelity beyond a reasonable doubt.
Some of the more common signs of infidelity reported to our investigators are as follows:
* The sudden need to make phone calls in secret or outside
* The sudden need to receive phone calls, check voice mail, or send text
messages in private
* Acting preoccupied or distant when with you
* Mentioning an unusual meeting or work activity near a holiday or
special event (i.e., Valentine's Day, Christmas)
* Hiding computer activity from you or using the computer very late at
* Refusal to let you use their car; takes the spare set of keys
* Suddenly makes a music CD or has one from an unknown source
* Starts a petty fight or argument, using it as an excuse to leave
* Purchases new underware, perfume, or cologne
* Begins taking special care in appearance (hair cuts, hair color, new
clothes, teeth whitening, dieting, gym workouts)
* Unexplained or frequent ATM withdraws
How We Can Help
Listed below are several investigative options that have been proven to be very effective in obtaining proof of infidelity:
1. Surveillance. This is the most common method of revealing infidelity.
The results can be dramatic and are irrefutable, as it is practically
impossible to explain away a videotape and photos. Surveillance is
billed at $95 per hour. This rate includes two investigators (usually a
male + female team) in separate vehicles, each with independent
camera systems. Utilizing a male + female team allows us to blend into
practically any environment. We do not charge for photos, video, or report writing, as these are included.
2. GPS Vehicle Tracking. Need to know where your mate's car has been
or is at this very moment? Once we install the hidden Global
Positioning System into your car, you can track the location of your
car at any time from your computer (internet access required). Daily
reports detailing where the car went, how long it stayed at specific
locations, and the route the car drove to get to the locations are
provided. It is very important that you own the vehicle for this
method to be utilized. There is a one-time installation charge of $190.
The rate for activation and use is $199 per month. A refundable
deposit of $200 is also required at the time of installation and returned
upon removal of the system.
3. Undercover Sting. On March 7, 2007, the San Francisco newspaper
The East Bay Express published an extensive article detailing our
undercover sting services. This article can be found at the following
An undercover sting, sometimes known as "honeytrapping", is the most effective method of revealing infidelity (or any questionable behavior). Our firm's ability to plan and execute an undercover sting has
generated tremendous media interest on a national level, as our
methods and strategies are often applied to areas other than infidelity
and are planned meticulously. If your mate has a propensity to cheat,
flirt, steal, or engage in any type of behavior that is questionable, this
strategy will reveal it and leave no doubt regarding your mate's
intentions. A well-trained, pretty female or handsome male
undercover investigator or decoy is introduced into your mate's
environment (work, gym, bar, etc.). The psychological concept behind
this strategy is that a person's base desire or behavior (such as lust or
greed) will override their logic when that person has access to
something they desire and they think no one they know is watching.
Thus, if your mate sees the undercover investigator or decoy, it is
anticipated that they will begin flirting or attempt to get a date if that is
their base desire or behavior. It is important to realize that the
undercover investigators or decoys NEVER initiate the contact with
your mate, nor will they escalate any conversation to the point of
leading on or enticing your mate (a concept some refer to as
"entrapment"). Should your mate pursue the undercover investigator or
decoy, the sky's the limit in terms of what information your mate will
reveal or the behavior your mate will exhibit. Videotape and/or
audiotape obtained from these encounters provide ample evidence
which cannot be explained away. It is important to remember that
these confrontations are very controlled and meticulously planned... no
violent or erratic behavior will be permitted. A report, videotape, and
audiotape are provided for your records. An undercover sting is billed
at $150 per hour.
4. Cell Phone Spyware. Many of our clients have advised us that their
spouse communicates with their mistress or boyfriend only via their
cell phone. As a result, many clients have asked for a way to uncover
text messages, emails, and phone calls made on their spouse's cell
phone. In early 2008, our investigative firm began testing various
cell phone spyware programs designed to record all activity executed
on just about any web-enabled cell phone. If you can get your hands
on the target cell phone for, say, about 10 minutes (while he or she is
in the shower or sleeping), then you are halfway there.
For an excellent example of the cell phone spyware, a recent news
story of these exact programs was recently telecast. Please remember
that cell phone spyware programs can be used both legally and
illegally, as the story clearly exhibits.
The cellphone spyware works like this:
First, you must purchase the software license from one of several
different companies. While we currently recommend the program
offered by Flexispy, there are several other companies that provide this
with a licensing number for the software.
Next, you need to get your hands on the target cell phone. (Some of
our clients actually bring us the phone, but for most cases, they obtain
access to the phone while at their home). Next, open the phone's web
access and go to the web site address of the spyware firm, enter your
software license number, and the spyware installation begins
immediately. The programs loads and installs in minutes... no trace of
the installation remains. Simply put the phone back where you got it.
The data (all text messages, emails, phone records) are sent to a special
web site, where the information is made available to you.
Pricing for the cell phone spyware varies with each company and the
specific spyware program. If your specific phone is not listed, please
review each spyware company web site. The list of supported phones
is growing rapidly.
5. Telephone Services. Due to the recent changes in federal law
regarding both cellular and landline records, many investigative firms
(including ours) have had sources severely curtailed. However, we can
still obtain the following:
PHONE DATA SEARCHES
A. Landline Telephone Number - You submit landline telephone number, listed or not, we
return the name and address behind that number. $75 flat fee.
B. Toll Free Number - You submit the current toll free number, we supply the service name
and address. $100 flat fee.
C. Cellular Telephone Number - You submit the cellular telephone number, we return the
name and billing address behind that number. $150 flat fee.
D. Current Phone Number - You submit name and address, we return that person's current
phone number, listed or not. $100 flat fee.
E. Cell Phone Search - You submit name and address, we locate the cell phone number for
that person. $150 flat fee; $25 no hit fee.
F. Cell Phone Search by SSN - You submit the SSN, we locate the cell phone number for
that person. $150 flat fee; $25 no hit fee.
G. Disconnected Cell Phone Data - You submit the cell phone number, the month and year of
when you need the owner's name + address, we provide the name + address of the person
owning the cell phone at that time. $300 flat fee; $25 no hit fee.
6. Computer Software / Hardware. All too often, our investigators are
told of how the mate spends an inordinate amount of time on their
computer, sending IM's, emails, or only God knows what. To help our
clients get to the truth, it is first important to understand the difference
between software and hardware. Software is a computer program
that is downloaded onto the computer. Examples of software
programs are computer operating systems, Microsoft Word, Microsoft
Excel, America OnLine, and so on. Your computer came with
multiple software programs already on it. There are several excellent
computer software programs that will record all of your mate's
computer activity without your mate having any knowledge that their
activity is being recorded. Eblaster, developed by the company
SpectorSoft, was designed to create a comprehensive report listing all
keystrokes (great for capturing email passwords), IM chats, emails, and
web sites visited. Once installed on your mate's computer, the
software will covertly send the report to YOUR email address,
allowing you to monitor activity without ever touching your mate's
computer again. Eblaster is ideal for mates who don't share the use of
their computer with you. Spectorsoft designed an even more
comprehensive program to record computer activity, but the report for
this program is stored in computer on which the program is loaded.
Thus, SpectorPro is ideal for mates who share a computer.
As is true with any computer monitoring software program, a very
good spyware detection program (rare) may detect computer
monitoring software and render it useless. With computer hardware,
there is no software program that will detect it. Computer hardware is
actual physical equipment, such as a keyboard, monitor, mouse, etc.
The simplest piece of computer hardware we have come across is a
small item that is added to the keyboard plug-in port. It can record all
of the keystrokes typed by any user. It is an excellent tool for
capturing email passwords, enabling access to the spouse's email
program or other areas that may contain evidence. This piece of
hardware, known as a key-logger, is plugged into the rear of the
computer in the keyboard port (therefore it is not for laptop
computers). However, you first need to determine the type of
keyboard port at the rear of your computer. Simply turn the
computer around and look at where the keyboard wire is plugged in.
Remove the wire and determine if it is PS/2 or USB.
The key-logger for the PS/2 port will look something like this:
The key-logger for the USB port will look something like this:
The software programs (Eblaster and SpectorPro) can be purchased at
SpectorSoft's web site for around $100 per program. If you feel that
you are not computer savvy enough, or are just too nervous to attempt
to download the program, simply bring the computer in to our office
and we will do it for you. The key-logger hardware can be found
on any number of web sites, ranging in price from $100 to $300.
7. Computer Analysis. Many people believe that one can wipe clean a
computer hard drive of incriminating evidence, such as photographs,
emails, web sites visited, and so on. The truth is quite the opposite.
Unless the hard drive is physically removed, a good computer forensic
specialist can recover every email ever typed, every photo ever
downloaded, and every web site visited. If your mate uses a computer,
the hard drive may hold information about who is involved (emails) or
what websites they are visiting (swingers, online dating services, etc.).
This requires that we take possession of the computer (CPU only) for a
few hours, during which time the contents of the hard drive are copied
and analyzed by our computer forensic specialist. Or we can load
software/hardware onto the computer that tracks and records ALL of
the emails, websites visited, and chatroom discussions. All computer
forensic work is billed according to each specific job.
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